I’m going to tell you a secret. Madonna is a very bad girl.
Except when it comes to marketing herself, that is. At that she still excels.
Yes, she sang Like a Prayer and made many people get up and dance. She also sang Like a Virgin and made many young ladies think about losing theirs earlier than otherwise foreseen.
She evokes the dance floor as a confessional space. She also likes to give profanity-laced interviews and just told the editor of Interview magazine (yes it still exists, although..) that he’s “always serving cunt.”
She actually signed his copy of her infamous book, Sex, thusly.
Of course that word carries some baggage. Means different things to different people and depending how you say it. Used glibly, often intentionally misspelled, in the United Kingdom.
So when she tells her 18 million Facebook followers that “really felt the presence of God” on Patmos what are we supposed to make of it?
Maybe not much. Because Facebook. Because Madonna.
Madonna!! You found God on an upscale Greek island with admittedly impressive biblical history chops but He somehow left you behind in Manhattan? New York City has long been the province of Satan, we grant you that, but just…please. Is one place really more spiritual than another? Is one church more holy than another by dint of some historical events? Or is Madonna perhaps being a little bit—yes, here it comes—holier than thou?
Does taking one exotic luxury trip every few months—last time we checked there was Japan, and Morocco, and Coachella—and then reducing it to a series of geo-Flashcards for Dummies on social media make the Material Girl any less material, or perhaps—enter, blasphemy!—even more materialistic?
We applaud Madonna’s holiday moves and ersatz holy grooves in Greece. Choosing Corfu over Santorini and Patmos over Mykonos is a main character move about as far away from pollyanna Rick Steves as you can get. That in itself is a blessing. No, a benediction!
But Madonna’s whole deal is—well not Michael Jackson weird, but pretty out there. Her boyfriend, who seemingly enjoys sporting the designer clothes he probably couldn’t afford as a—wait, what does he do again?—is the same age as her son, give or take a few months.
We heard that the birthday folk ensemble that played at her birthday fête in Corfu was actually Italian, not Greek. That doesn’t necessarily scream cultural insensitivity, but it does telegraph major control freakitude.
There is no spiritual renewal without spontaneity. All of Madonna’s travels are carefully scripted, just as her sexagenarian face is deliberately sculpted.
Madonna—and we know you’re reading this—you were more interesting when you dabbled in Kabbalah. Your Muslim ex-boyfriend was better looking than your current doe-eyed hanger-on. Deeply personal family moments when put on public display are no longer personal; they are are at best staged, at worse, hamfisted.
Is a photographer trailing you around while you cosplay a babushka lighting candles? We’re not sure Garbo—who as you reminded us gave good face—would have dialed down 2 that level. How do you expect to be taken seriously?
from our previous post:
Madonna has offered “prayers from Patmos!!” calling it “a magical island.” More from Facebook: “I really felt the presence of God there. The first time I went to Greece, I was 7 months pregnant with Rocco. A full circle moment to take him there again as a Man. To reconnect. To remember. Good for the Soul!”
Whatever: picking Patmos over Mykonos or Ibiza is a total rock star move. As we reported previously, Madge is a on spiritual journey. The new album is Confessions II. It’s the follow up to the much better Confessions on a Dance Floor. Forget all the Kabbalah blabla, for Madonna is Catholic to the core. A sometimes bad girl, even a girl gone wild, who “wants so badly to be good.
So she made one more Greek island stop before riding out the tail end of summer in (we’re guessing) the Hamptons. The island where Saint John wrote the Book of Revelation. Yes, that Revelation. Apocalyptic. Biblical. Heavy stuff.
But there’s something about Patmos that forces you to slow down. Not in a preachy wellness-retreat way, but in a “why would I rush when the sea looks like this or Madonna 2026” kind of way.
Towering above the island’s capital, Chora, the 11th-century monastery is Patmos’s most iconic site. Founded in 1088, it resembles a medieval fortress with high walls and a mix of Byzantine and post-Byzantine architecture. Inside, you’ll find beautiful frescoes, ancient manuscripts, and a peaceful courtyard offering panoramic views.
Cave of the Apocalypse
This small grotto halfway between Skala and Chora is believed to be where St. John received the visions that inspired the Book of Revelation. You can still see the fissure in the rock that tradition holds was formed by the voice of God. The atmosphere inside is famously calm and otherworldly.
If Madonna did manage to fit in a visit, just remember that she’s probably not going to shout about it. She might whisper it though, on Instagram, eventually. It’s what she did after celebrating her bday last year in Morocco.
